A DISTRESSING DAY

(Continued from ' The Provision)

In late October 2007, while I was at school, I got a call from the place I had gotten my mammogram back in February. The lady asked me if I was coming back for that follow-up mammogram. She said the program had funds to pay for it and that I better get down there, because that lump was big and threatening. I told her I had already been bitten by the 'free mammogram bug' before and to forgive me for not believing her. She said the lady who was over her office before, hadn't done her billing right and that was why there was no money to cover me back in February, but there was money to cover me now, even if I had to get treatment. Well, she got me all scared and upset. Then I got afraid the insurance would say "pre-existing" because I knew the lump was there, and not pay. Friends told me to forget about the 'free' system and go to Cape where there was good doctors and good equipment. Just start over. I called one place and told them I needed a mammogram. They asked had I been there before, and I said no. Then she asked if I had ever had a mammogram, and I had to say yes. She asked when. When I told her Feb 07, she said they couldn't do it less than a year apart. I said, in desperation, "You don't understand. I have a huge lump, and I'm supposed to be going back for a follow-up, and I've missed it because I don't know if it will be paid for or not." It was a low faith point for sure. She said to call my family doctor to refer me and get it set up. By then I was ready to go home, crawl into the back of a dark closet and have myself a good cry. I was SO afraid and upset! I didn't trust the 'free' system. I didn't trust the 'insurance' system. My husband didn't seem to understand the terror I was experiencing. And I wasn't telling anyone else the depth of my problem. I was feeling extremely alone. So I went to the bathroom, and prayed to God, whom I do trust. He seemed to direct me to call my family doctor. So I called her and explained the whole situation. She had me and my husband to come to the office. She really calmed me down and explained how we could call the other Women's Care place in Cape, and start over with a full mammogram, and get a biopsy the same day; the whole works. And that the insurance would be okay. So I went and had a complete mammogram, and biopsy, and the lump turned out to be cancerous. And the insurance was okay. Actually, I was more relieved than I had been for a year. The whole last year had been a yo-yo ride of emotions between fear and faith. I know I'm not making a long story short. But it hasn't been short for me, and it's taking you a lot less time to read about it, than it took me to live it through. Isn't that right? (to be continued)