THE CRYING DAY

I have heard of women who said they cried for days after their hysterectomy. My emotions ran level for about 3 days, and then I woke up knowing "The crying day has come".



I have this wonderful place in my dining room where the sun light floods in through a south window all day. After my family had left for the day, I sat down in a chair by that window, uncovered my belly to the sun, and gently stroked the scars as I began thanking the Son for all the life that had come from me. Life that has brought pleasure and pain, laughter and tears, expectation and regrets, choices, privileges and responsibilities, seen growth and delays, brought patience and impatience, and wonderful surprises. Tears did flow. Not tears of depression, but reflective tears of thanksgiving, mixed with grief at my loss. But it occurred to me that God places ovaries in a woman like a time release capsule, to release the hormones, as they are needed to create a cycle in her to bring continuation of life to the world. When it has served its purpose, it is time for it to diminish and the next generation comes forth and repeats the whole wonderful plan again. I'm glad I got to be a part of the continuation. I have much to be thankful for. My children are all grown up and well in body and mind. They are productive, caring people who will contribute to the good of this world, and are a blessing to other people.



Life is a process, and we are all somewhere in that process. A 'crying day' is part of it. We can take comfort in the fact that the crying day will pass, and we'll be better for having gone through it. But we must remember that good, happy days will pass, too, so we should enjoy them to the fullest while they are here. Because we really don't know how long they will last and it could be a while before the next one comes. We should really praise God if we have several good days in a row! And most of the time we do, don't we? So no more whining! Not today.



I've often wondered, "Why do we have to wait till we're over fifty to learn this stuff? Are we slow learners, or what? And why do we expect our children to know it in their 20's, when we didn't get it till our fifties?" I helps me to have patience with young people when they think they know it all, while they don't even have a clue. I remember people in the former generation who exercised the wisdom to love me in my ignorance, knowing life would teach me in the long run. And life has really taught me some valuable lessons. So, laughing or crying, every generation lends a hand, and learns from, the generations on either side of them.

THE PATCHWORK QUILT

In the process of testing to see if more cancer could be detected, they found that I had big cysts on both ovaries; one the size of a baseball, and the other the size of a golf ball. Dr. Jacob, my gynocological oncologist, thought these weren't cancerous, but why not remove them? After all, at 54 years old, I didn't plan to have any more children, and the ovaries push estrogen, which feeds breast cancer. So, out the door they go. Since he was removing the ovaries, he said we should remove the whole works while we're at it, and not have to come back to complete the job in a few years. Because of the size of the cysts, and doctor didn't want to cut through them, this must be an old-fashioned, cut-you-open kind of surgery. So six weeks after my mastectomy, I was back on the surgery table again. I woke up in terrible pain, and when they asked me to get up and walk, I only made it to the door and had to get back in bed. But the nurses fixed me up with good pain meds, and I was on the mend. The cysts turned out to be benign (no cancer.) When we got home, we had more good food and visits from our wonderful network of ladies in the church.

A few days after my surgery, I caught a good look at myself in the bathroom mirror. I was beginning to look like a patchwork quilt, with all the seams running ever-which-way. But I thought, "So, who hasn't been comforted by an old patchwork quilt at some point in their life. Heavenly Father, you make me a warm comfort to people. You just stitch me up in any pattern you desire. I know the finished product will be something worth having."