What More Could a Mother Ask?

Sometimes, we have not, because we ask not. But sometimes we have, when we don't even ask. That's the way grand-parenting came to me. Way earlier than I expected. While my oldest daughter was still in high school. A result of puppy love. (You know the warning of puppy love is that it can turn into a dog's life.) And it could have, but it didn't. It came as a mix of first-time-grandchild excitement and upset about a pre-marital birth. And boy, was it a real upset! We were upset, she was upset, he was upset, his parents were upset, and we were eight years the pastors of a church in a small town. The kind of town where everybody knows every body's business, and talks about it. We all were ashamed, there were harsh words spoken, and tears, and we all repented of whatever part we played in allowing this situation to occur. My daughter told me it wasn't my fault, that it was her choice that brought it about. She had born this knowledge alone for four and a half months before she couldn't hide it any longer. But what mother doesn't feel responsible when her baby is having a baby, not in due time? The church was kind and forgiving when we told them. They said, "How can we reject you at a time like this, when you have nurtured us through some of the same things with our children?" His parents were in it with us, giving their support. The town was kind and supportive. There was very little bad talk that we heard about. A couple of girls at school questioned our second daughter, Beth about the situation, and she very bluntly told them that if she heard one word about them talking bad about her sister, she would know where it came from, and they would have to answer to her. She heard nothing else. There was a baby shower given by friends. Yancey, the boyfriend, stepped up to the plate right away. He sat with Fonda during church every service. He was supportive of her and loving to their baby. He bore his part of shame and blame and embarrassment, and shielded her as well as he knew how. They talked about getting married right away, before the baby came. But my husband wisely counseled them to wait until they graduated from high school. I watched her do her homework many times with Hillary climbing on her back, or playing quietly by her side. She fed, and bathed her, and read her stories. She and Yancey both grew up overnight and became good parents. Fonda graduated valedictorian of her graduating class. They married five days after graduation. They went to college 70 miles away, taking their baby with them. Yancey made special efforts to bond with his little girl. One day when they had no baby sitter, he took her to his college math class, where she sat quietly beside him, coloring and looking at books. I think his teacher looked on him with more respect after that day. I was sure impressed! The third year of college, they added a new baby boy, Parker, to their family, and Fonda made a 4.0 that semester. She graduated college, magna cum laude, December 1997, with a degree in early childhood education. Yancey graduated in 2000 with a degree in high school math. He went on to get his masters degree in math, and Fonda went back to college two years to get a second degree in elementary education. They have moved to a small town in Missouri, a good place to raise their children. They go to church and serve God faithfully. She teaches first grade, and he teaches high school math, and coaches the high school girls basketball, which had a winning season this year. They have been married 15 years, this summer. My granddaughter's name is Hillary, which means 'hilarious'. She is the most joyful person I know. She is helpful and giving. She excels in her school work, and extracurricular activities. She is a musician like her mimi. She is driving, now, and can drive her daddy's 'stick shift' truck. She has a strong comittment to God, and works very well in her youth group at church. I'm impressed. My grandson is Parker. He is a very thoughtful, and thinking type of person. He loves his mama, and respects his daddy. He enjoys spending time with his grandparents. He has good friends in his neighborhood. He enjoys building things with his hands. He is 'first chair' in trumpet, in middle school band. Impressive! How many times have we come to situations that appear so bad, and seen God, our loving heavenly father, turn things around for the good? He gives us blessing after blessing, if we will just trust him. God is merciful. I mean, what more could a mother ask?

Who is Sandy, anyway?

I am Sandra Poole, and my nest is empty of children for the first time in 32 years. They fly back in sometimes to eat and visit and wash clothes, but then they go back and work on their own nest.
When I was a little girl, all I ever wanted to do was grow up, marry a preacher, and have 12 kids. (Undue expectations?) I prayed to that effect, and I grew up, and married a preacher. God gave me what I asked for, and he was more than I expected. So I decided I better back up on the number of children. We have four. Three girls and a boy. So I have an oldest child, a middle child, an only son, and a baby girl. They are all grown up now (The youngest, just having left the nest, is still in the fininshing-off stage.) She has moved out to herself, but not very far away. And she doesn't stay gone long. She comes by 4 or 5 times a week for food, gas, or laundry. Or to give her dog a bath in my tub. (Because I have a shower head on a hose. "It's easier in your tub, Mom.") She also has a horse and a pony. I guess I can be thankful she doesn't bring them by to give them a bath. We go to her house often to feed the horses and check on how she is doing. (We also go because we like being in the country and working around the horses.) This child has a job, and is enjoying it and her 'independence'. At least, she is paying her own rent and utilities. So that's a start. I guess I started with the youngest, because that's where I am right now. So this blog can go either forward or backward. That is the magic of having an empty nest. I get to go the direction that I want to go. My life and choices aren't as overrun with so many others' agendas. Only my preacher husband's! Which is plenty. But I feel like his calling is my calling, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Briefly, I have a daughter who teaches, a daughter who is going to school to become a counselor, and a son who teaches people to fly, and as I mentioned, the youngest who is working and beginning to build her own life. I have two sons-in-law whom I love dearly as sons, and who love my daughters and grand-children. And I'm getting a daughter-in-law next year, who I love as a daughter. She is smart and pretty, and she loves my son. What more can a mother ask?